I cried myself a lil cry on the subway home today. Nothing much. Just a tear or two.
In a fit of disgusting self-pity, sado-masochism and nostalgia.
The concept that one will at some point find the person that one is meant to be with forever and ever is just stupid. Why should it be? Coz we want it to be? Hell no. Let me make it more specific and not talk about 'ones' and 'we's'. Why should I find someone I'm going to be happy with forever. I've met interesting people here, I've fooled around, nothing happens. Of course I've been here only 4 months but thats not my point. Why should anything happen?

Its been a really long time.
I feel like I want to have my heart broken....at least then I would've been in love. And its just been so long since I've felt anything that meant something.
Since I've felt something that meant anything at all.

First days

It's cold. That much I can say for sure. It's cold. Was incredibly impressed by myself initially when i got here - what with the lack of notable jetlag and handling the cold well and all. And then yesterday happened. It was ok as long as I was in the house but anytime i stepped out onto the back-porch even it was cold. And it feels strange seeing the sun shine brightly and it being cold. In the evening went with S.ettan to get M from a friend's house and then take her to Music class. It was nice being out and about. And then we went to the grocery store. That was fun. I did try my best not to keep looking around in amazement at all the stuff. Will have to do that on my next trip - there's a trip to the Mall planned for today so let's see how that goes. Didn't see Chips Ahoy in red packaging though. :)Need to work on TRC stuff too. Can't be a lazy ass anymore. Need to get off my butt to be competetive here - just a general life-lesson...not talking about TRC alone.I have a nice room here. It's actually above the front door so I have a view across the road. A nice lil wood-ish house opposite. And it flies the American flag, and has a lil bench on the front porch.The colours are really nice to see...and watching the leaves fall is fun too. Nature is so beautiful everywhere.Managed to speak to P and play phone tag with N. Need to slowly get in touch with the others here. The only thing is I can't commit to any sorta plans coz I need to okay it with my cousin first and also any plan for later in the month is subject to what rotation I'm placed in at HMS and whether I get time off for Thanksgiving or not.Ok...now to bactrack a little bit. My flight from Frankfurt to Newark was nicer than the first leg - 'cept for the food. Never have a Hindu meal in the air this far from home. The bread was awful and the supari - made in Germany. No need to say anymore. But it was a nocer leg coz it was in the daytime and could kinda see outta the window. And most importantly I had the 2seats next to me free. Was in the middle block of 4 seats-in the aisle seat. I did get quite stressed out about port-of-entry and stuff especially when we had to fill the immigration and Customs forms on air itself. So it took some effort to quell the rising panic. Landed and it was fun. Immigration was a breeze - got 6months. Yay! Customs not a problem. Got my baggage easily and paid $3 for a trolley.So after all of that I head out to the exit and then I see a bunch of familiar faces. Km and S and Rg,N1 and lil Ro. But apparently they weren't quite looking at where I was coming from coz I saw R&fam move to one side looking and Km was left straight in my line of vision and I kept waving like a retard...to no avail. Basically until I came out thru the doors into the lobby area she hadn't a clue. I have a feeling I could've sneaked up and stood next to her for a while and she might not have known. :) Was so so nice to see familiar faces after the long journey. Got a Starbucks coffee too...well actually a tea. But yay. My first real taste of America. Hehe. Spent some time there and then they decided to record this moment for posterity and took some pics of me with luggage. I'm sure Ash will have something FOB-ish to say about it.Stepped out to the carpark,..and I don't quite know how I felt. Right now I dunno why but I'm feeling a lil emotionmal about that moment. The moon was a beautiful crescent and the sky was clear. A lil nip in the air. And then looking back at the airport - it looked nice. The whole setting. Had my cam in my backpack but didn't take any pics. That's a pity. Especially since I always seem to be taking moon pics.Got home and it was so nice seeing everyone there. J and fam and KMn also joined there. SO basically I got a full-blown NJ reception. All the cousins in the state were there. Was really really nice - can't stress that enough. I don't think anyone int he history of my family has had such an arrival in the U.S. Not saying that conceitedly but just so incredibly thankfully. It was so nice of everyone to come. Can't say that enough.Think I might be a tad constipated. Think I should've bought a larger size among all the wollens. Feel so fat here for some reason. Maybe the constipation. Taking it easy with the food too coz wanna ease into it. The warm stuff's keeping me warm for the most part. My toes were ready to fall off last night when we went shopping. And this morning it's my feet and hands. Ah well. Get used to it honey.Welcome to the U.S. of A.

Frankfurt...

And so I reach Frankfurt.
It's apparently 46F outside. After the plane touched down we were taken to the terminal by bus - so stepped out into the full blast of Frankfurt weather. And you know what? It wasn't that bad. Had 'smoke' puffin g out with every breath and stuff but it was bearable. So I was suitably impressed by myself. Got to the terminal and was quite lost - had no clue where to go and there wasn't an information desk in sight. So finally decided I might as well follow the signs and go ahead to baggage claim - and a whole new world opened up - called the first and second floors. Lotsa shops and stuff. And an information desk. Verified that my baggage was checked in all the way thru and where I could get a phone card from. Called home. Feel quite far away right now from everything I know. To be expected I guess. After the initial stress of where to go and stuff I'm feeling quite ok now. Bought a calling card for $15 band then a Sprite for $5. So I've basically spent 1,000 bucks as soon as I've reached here - and not even eaten yet. Checked the area for wireless - it does have a T-Mobile wireless service however it ain't free. Damn them! And I don’t have a credit card I can use. Should have taken dad's card info like I wanted to.
The flight as such was incredibly boring and quite uncomfortable...but not too much to complain about. I found that I can actually get a little tongue-tied and verbally fumbly around the firangs and that is something I do not approve of. Must work on that. Also do have a bit of a headache. So after I buy frankfurter sausages with bread for some 5 Euros (which refuse to convert into rupees), I shall have a good ole Crocin.
Fought sleep all the way thru till I boarded the aircraft. I was in Zone6 which is the last zone and so waited till it was called before I headed to boarding. Get on the plane - and its chock full already - including freaking zone6. No space for my cabin bag above 47H so had to
dump it all the way down the line of seats. But it was a nice looking air-hostess that helped - quite possibly Ashwin's Helga.
Aircraft toilets SUCK! Geez. Incredibly disgusting. And small. Good thing I lost some weight before this. Had a couple sitting next to me who must have thought I was a total retard. I will never mention this again and if any of you value your lives you will not do so either. I had trouble putting on the seat-belt....and had to get the sir-hostess to help me. Sigh. So sad. But strangely feel proud of my being such a local yokel.
So about 30mins before landing in Frankfurt I look out of the window and see that there's
some ground visible. The woman next to me thinks I'm looking outta the window to check out the weather and says it isn't raining. And then we get to chatting. She's Michelle - and the dude's her husband...didn't bother finding out his name. Prasi will be heartened to know that I didn't introduce myself until a good 20 mins into the conversation. So she's French and a doc - a paediatrician - in Strasbourg, France. Really nice lady. She tells me she also did look at going to the U.S. and had taken the exams - called ECFMG at the time - about 35 years back. She was quite helpful, travelled widely too so gave me info about the Frankfurt airport and what I could do to keep myself occupied for 6 hours and also about Newark. We also managed to fit in a bit of a discussion on the socio-political situation in France right now and the weather in South India. She said the North was more - I think - exotic but the South was nicer. :)
Ok...now that I finished saying what I wanted to I'm bored.


Chennai: 1315 Sunday
Frankfurt: 0845 Sunday

Lub-dub Lub-dub

Just got an earlier visa interview date. So it's now on October 25th. That's 5 days away.
OhmygodOhmygodOhmygod!!!!
But it'll be over and done with in 5 days and that's a huge big thing. So yay!
Now if I can only get my heart to stop pounding for 5 mins I can catch some sleep.

Movie!!!

Awesome.
Loved it.
Just watched Crash. It was disturbing yet real, poignant and hopeful yet thought-provoking. A good, well-paced movie but with a point to it all.
A movie with a message wrapped up in it in just the right way. You have to get thru the layers and it leaves you examining yourself closely and the world around you too.
Everyone HAS to see it.
It's not great movie - it's an awesome movie. Don't know if that makes sense.
You think you know who you are. You have no idea.

Movie

Just watched A lot like Love.
A really nice movie. Was wanting something funny to watch and not necessarily mushy. Kinda delivered on the former and a whole lot on the latter - the love part of mushiness. It was a good movie. The chemistry between the 2 was awesome. Entire scened especially int he first half of th emovie looked so fresh and natural like it was all filmed in one take or shot like a documentary. Especially the scene in the Chinese restaurant. Loved it.Now i'm all ready to go out and get me some love.